It’s Not Xerxes, It’s Cyrus

And most certainly not Jesus! Jesus would have nothing to do with such a fat laden snack. Jesus only appears in wholesome foods (like wheat bread) and pieces of wood (naturally, what with being a carpenter and all). Cyrus, on the other hand, was well known- from Josephus, Antiquities of the Persians, to be a real eater of fried fat cheesy things. Josephus writes in Ant. of the Pers. III.1- “And after many years did Cyrus receive permission from his magi to consume once again the Cheeto. And lo, after consuming five he heard a voice from heaven saying ‘let the Jews go to Palestine’ (that was what the land was called in those days) and behold, Cyrus then did issue an edict to the Jews saying unto them, ‘go to your land and make fat, fried, cheesy snack foods, for this is the reason that I let you go.’”

So, in spite of Justin’s suggestion, it couldn’t be Xerxes appearing in the Cheeto. It’s Cyrus.

You Just Can’t Trust Anyone These Days

Even hospital employees can’t be trusted- as the case of one Dwight McPherson makes plain. He has been charged with stealing and selling information on nearly 50,000 patients. It’s not safe to be sick these days. And do you know what lies at the root of all this? Greed. And guess what lies at the root of greed… That’s right, Total Depravity.

The Real Truth About Nag Hammadi: A Guest Post by Chuck Gabby

I mentioned the other day that the Nag Hammadi Corpus has gotten a lot less press than the Dead Sea Scrolls. Today, a guest posting by Charles Gabby, unknown expert in all things related to the corpus. Gabby teaches no where and has never written anything on the subject but he has very strong opinions and thinks that he is right. Further, he does love to comment on blogs by means of an alias. Chuck writes

I suggest that the documents found near Nag Hammadi actually came from Jerusalem. I also suggest that the place where they were discovered was actually a fortress. If anyone disputes my interpretation, I insist on avoiding peer-review publications and annual scholarly conferences, and instead will use letters to the editors of major newspapers to air my grievances against what I believe to be an academic conspiracy directed against myself. As my theory spreads and my ideas progress, I will have a number of anonymous internet aliases and these multiple personalities will begin a smear campaign against the traditional theory and its adherents. I will call for an open debate on the issues surrounding Nag Hammadi, but this free exchange of ideas should only take place on previously unheard of internet message boards, and news groups via anonymous aliases. The fact that every scholar in the field realizes that these anonymous aliases are directly connected to me will not stop me, because I essentially have nothing to lose.

Further, I plan to get a few other folks to say that Jesus’ brother James actually wrote the library in Coptic. I plan to sell several books on the subject. This will all help Nag Hammadi to be as famous as Qumran.

Um, thanks, Chuck. I’m sure your ideas will catch on like wildfire in the Sahara.

[n.b.- I just gave Chuck space to share his thoughts because it's a bit of a slow day....]

100% Right

Here’s an Open Letter to the defense attorney of Eric Boyd, one of the vile miscreants who aided in the destruction of the lives of Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom. If I could have signed it and circulated it as well, I would have- so I will here.

I realize that everyone is entitled to vigorous defense and fair representation- but to represent and defend a monster makes one a monster. With thanks to Katie for the tip.

Torrey Seland Is Back

After retiring his Philo and 1 Peter blogs, Torrey is back- using his blog space this time to serve as the counterpoint to his well known and admirable resource pages. Or, as he states it,

Welcome to this ‘blog’. Well, it will probably not be so much a blog in the general sense, as more an info space related to my Resource Pages for Biblical Studies, and as such a space where I can announce updates and other info related to my Resource Pages. And even post occasionally about Philo and other biblical topics…. If you will stay updated about what happens to the Resource Pages for Biblical Studies, please subscribe to this blog.

I’m glad to see him back!

See, I Told You YouTube Was A Tool of the Devil…

It’s a medium for sick teens to seek their 15 seconds of fame. More and more these sorts of behavior are coming to the fore. So alongside endangering themselves by doing stunts, now they beat one another for the fun of it. Perversity and depravity.