An Atheist- because it makes no sense to me to exalt humanity to deity (which is what atheism does).
A Pentecostal- because the ‘emotionalism’ of the movement is a tad repulsive.
A Roman Catholic- because of the whole Pope thing and the adoration of Mary stuff. It grates my Reformed skin.
A Lutheran- because I’m not into being a beer swilling mean spirited git.
A Methodist- because If I were going to be an Anglican, I’d go the whole way with it and not be ‘Anglican Light”
A Mormon- because it’s all just so silly. Gold tablets and angels named Moroni (which is Moron with an I).
A Buddhist- because I don’t know what the devil those people are talking about.
A Muslim- because I don’t want to have 12 wives in the afterlife. I am a genuine monogamist.
A Church of Christ member- because those people are just mean and I don’t want my wife shooting me in the back.
An Episcopalian- (see above on Methodists).
A Jehovah’s Witness- because, aside from being heretics, I don’t think I’d like to knock on doors to earn salvation.
A Presbyterian- because they are just Baptists that sprinkle. Come on guys, just dip!
An Anglican- because I don’t think a Queen should be the head of a Church (of any sort!!!)
An Emergent- because they are Jehovah’s Witnesses without the Kingdom Hall.
So I shall remain a Baptist, I think, since we are 1) the only one’s that will be in heaven; and 2) the only truly New Testament Church. And the real reason, because we have freedom!
UPDATE: For Soren…
Orthodox, Jewish or Rastafarian- because I don’t like facial hair, a yarmulke, or the evil weed used by my fellow children of the 60’s respectively.