I got this funny bit a while ago and post it here for your enjoyment:
These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All the teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!!
1 Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an ‘idiot’.
5. Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a “full six-pack” but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child, beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.
I’ve known many fitting each of the categories above during my nearly 48 years.
[...] Jim offered us an interlude of comments put on student’s report cards. It’s alleged these all genuinely have been written in [...]
By: MetaCatholic » There’s dumb, and then there’s really dumb on February 28, 2008
at 6:22 pm
#9 made me laugh a lot. I have some students that should be included in that statement, but I don’t know if I’m brave enough to express it in that way.
By: wanchanken on February 28, 2008
at 7:18 pm
My personal favorites are #1 and #5. I have duly added them to my repertoire, which includes such delightful lines as “How do I set my laser printer to stun?”, “Nice perfume; must you marinate in it?”, and “Does your train of thought have a caboose?”
By: Esteban Vázquez on February 28, 2008
at 7:30 pm